A conversation clip from two gentlemen-of-the-street observing the passing throngs on an unusually nice January day: "...and they wear those things around their necks to ward off evil spirits on their way to the Temple..."

Rep from Nisus Writer while in mid-demo: "...we're not doing this to make money, like those other guys...we're doing this to make a good product." That is painfully obvious (the money-making part) considering that their booth last year was as big and opulent as any other major player in the word processor game (multi-level graphics-intensive booth, a dozen boothies, many demo machines, free t-shirts) , and this year was a mere Plain Jane effort (10'x10' space, table and chairs, one boothie, one demo machine, no t-shirts).

...on to the Awards.....

Most Shameless Chameleon Act
4D (nee 4th Dimension) is now an Internet company. 4th Dimension is/was a relational database product that has more bugs than a Manila hotel room and the product name is actually the address of their tech support department. But now they are "into the Internet", like they built it. I guess they figure that if 3D is good, then 4D must be better.

Best Product for a Need No One Knows Exists
Tree EIAS Storm by Onyx Computing. The "first ever 4D modeler for animating trees on the wind!" (what is with this 4D stuff??) I've got to admit, these people sure as hell know trees. The animation is very realistic and infinitely configurable, of course. But outside of the technical masturbation angle, who could possibly use it?

Most Ghastly Display
The Motorola StarMax Theater of the Absurd. I actually arranged my floor wandering to be present at the next showing because I wanted to get the scoop on these new boxes....silly me. I didn't make through even 30 seconds of the pathetic song-and-dance before my sanity saver mechanism kicked in. Worse yet, there wasn't a single product brochure or knowledgeable techie available anywhere at any price.

Must Die a Multi-Horrendous Death
Any company or product billed as "MultiMedia". Why does this always require retina-scorching images and ear-splitting soundtracks powered by sub-woofers the size of locomotives? Yet another sad example of cheap thrill populism winning out over thoughtfully designed substance. I think multimedia is too small a word... MEGAMEDIA would be more appropriate.

At Least They Had a Plan
The Power Computing gang done up in camo-military-drag. A welcome change from the usual disco lights and "gee-aren't-we- just-great" fare. The looming self-deprecating images of President Steve and the Save Your OS pitch were just ridiculous enough to be entertaining.

Best Thing to Break in Your Brand-New Gold Card
Daystar Genesis MP 800+ quad 200mhz 604e processor machine with 1.2GB of RAM and 128-bit PCI graphics, fed from a FWB SledgeHammer Pro FT Ultra SCSI-3 RAID 5 fault tolerant 51GB array.

Most Compelling Display
The Buzz at Be. In spite of losing out to NeXT in the OS Sweepstakes, the Be booth was constantly jammed as people witnessed demos of something that actually works. Too bad that superior products have nothing to do with capturing market share (see Nisus Writer above).

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